El Buchon (play)

El Buchon
2007
Characters:
-police officer
-Luis
-El Buchon/Juan
First performance:
Fashion square, Phoenix, AZ.
Scene:
El Buchon wearing with Ed hardy clothes and funny boots who always hang-out with a prep guy at the mall.
At their meeting, the racist police officer always inspectioned them because Juan looked like a gangster with his clothes and way to talk.
Shopping at the mall, Juan asks to the police officer why always he go to the mall he is inspected by him (officer)

Juan: (Juan driving to the mall talking to Luis) aver, aver, aver, what are we going to buy today my dear friend, Luisillo?
Luis: Pues no se guey, yo ya me aburri de que siempre te lleves toda la Louis vuitton.
Juan: Take it easy! Ya te llegara la hora.
Luis. No manches guey, nomas falta que el officer nos inspeccione otra vez guey!
Juan: I know, this little security thinks he is obama, he always inspection us.
Luis: ya se guey no manches osea siempre nos tiene que inspeccionar, osea pues con quien cree que esta tratando el guey?
Juan: (walking to enter to the mall) well, let see if he inspection us again, esta pero crazy el guey!
Luis: (opening the mall doors) no manches guey! Ahi esta el officer!
Juan: Stop kidding me! Me lleva! Asta parece que nos estava esperando!
Officer: (walking to talk to Juan and Luis) hello my kids, what are you going to steal today?
Luis: steal? Osea what’s wrong with you guey? We never steal ok?
Juan: calmado guey! Relax! Si apenas vamos entrando, esperate a que compremos o ya que entemos a una tienda, pero osea nos vez y ya nos quieres inspeccionar, no manches!
Officer: I am just doing my job guys.
Luis: no manches callate si? Can you shut up?
Juan: de puro coraje, I am going to my compa Williams, pa que me preste su avioneta, ojala que no este cargada, pa irnos al fashion valley de San Diego, pero primero, I have to ask you the question who always is disturbing me, why always we come here, you have to inspect our clothes and our shopping bags?
Officer: (taking out his hat) well, you look like a gangster
Juan: What? Why I look like a gangster? Anyway gangster are rich so I wouldn’t have reasons to steal
Officer: but you look like a gato, not like the main gangster, look at your cap, your Rosario, your boots, your cell phone.
Juan: what about my cell phone?
Officer: yeah, you use a Nextel
Juan: what you say about me is called buchon in Sinaloa, and not because I wear like this I am a gato or a heavy gangster
Luis: que oso guey! ya mandale la alerta al compa Williams
Juan: (calling to his friend, Williams) que onda compa Williams! Como a estado usted? Oiga le queria pedir si me podia mandar la avioneta aqui a phoenix
(there is no voice in the phone)
Luis: guey what did he say?
Juan: pos no se como que aqui no hay servicio
Luis: (looking weird to the police officer) what are you doing here? Did you listen? A airplane is going to take us, so can go away thank you! Bye!
Officer: guys, I told them, you should be inspectioned
Juan: we just have 4 minutes we entered here, how are we going to steal something? We had no enter to any store
Officer: well, you know what are my reasons to inspect them, you don’t look like a business man, you may didn’t steal something, but you can have another illegal things in your body what if you have drugs or a gun
Juan: (Juan getting mad at the officer) hay este guey!
Luis: he already told you, he is not a gangster!
Officer: so, if you are not a gangster, why a airplane is going to take you? Why you said that the airplane could be cargada or however you said that?
Juan: mira guey, entre Mexicans, asi nos manejamos! Puro barrio fino.
Luis: somos gente de trabajo guey! Osea siempre que venimos nos tienes que inspeccionar nuestra ropa, lo que compramos, entramos a una tienda y nos tienes que revisar, pero hoy, hoy si te saliste, osea esta viendo quer acabamos de bajarnos de nuestro carro, y entramos al mall y nos quieres revisar, es el colmo! Te desconozco de por vida!
Officer: it’s my job guy, I already told you
Juan: ni pedo guey, alcavos el compa Williams ya mando la avioneta!
Luis: osea que le pasa al guey?
Officer: (going to inspect them) Put your hands up!
Luis: (Luis being inspectioned) lo vez? I have nothing illegal
Officer: you can go!, now you gato gangster!
Juan: hurry up!
Officer: (Officer inspectioning  to juan) this is what I always was looking for!
Juan: what? My money?
Officer: if you don’t want to get in more trouble, come with me
Juan: (Juan and luis following him) officer, it’s my money, I came to the fashion square, you know that I always buy expensive clothes at expensive stores. I usually bring $15,000 or more
Officer: the more you can have is $9,999 so if you have more you have to report your money.